boldly consuming lips and assholes

Today for lunch, I ate a hot dog and a hamburger. Apparently it was throwback to Middle School lunch day at the Staff Caff. Jason got me all hot and bothered in the elevator with grandiose machinations of Swiss cheese and bacon, but there was none to be had. I don’t know why I continue to delude myself in this way.

Susanna correctly identified the burger flavor as ‘nothing’. Also they must have just taken the patties out of the refrigerator because mine nearly froze my cheese.

I learned that our own Fish Taco cleans her bathroom with hotdogs. I also revealed my secret desire to master Klingon. Here’s a little taste:

Huh? = Nuqjatlh? = nook chatch

Where is the bathroom? = nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'? = nook dock oh putch pa eh?

Your mother has a smooth forehead! = Hab SoSlI' Quch! = Hab Shush Li' Cooch*
*Note: this is a powerful insult; don't say it to friends.

Shut up! = bIjatlh 'e' yImev! = b'jock eh imev!

Jade is a Klingon: